Change of purpose. New journal: shit I don't want most people to stumble upon. Maybe eventually turned into primary journal, given general shift of meaning and identity. Who knows. If you are still watching this journal as part of OMG AS, please stop. Thank you, that is all.

I hate zombies. Fuckin' HATE zombies.

Highlights of my evening? Getting hit in the nuts by uber huge mega zombie, losing a finger (thank god I found it), passing out from blood loss, kicking Lupin in the knee when he pulled on my dislocated shoulder, getting handcuffed to Lupin, repeatedly losing both Ed and Toki (who I still can't find), and almost killing Fuu.

Oh, and getting a half-assed maybe temp work offer. Sorta.

I need a drink. And to find Toki. Where the hell did he wander off to?

Who wants to drink with me?

I'm not dating. Stop talking about it.

::grumbles:: Seriously, people. Why is my love life the center of your world?

Jet's back. Ed's birthday. Think I might be...dating? Also...um...yeah. Well fuck. My life gets all complicated real quick-like, doesn't it?

Blues Devil still reminds me of that creepy little guy with the mouth harp. I should really go talk to him.

Julia is fixed. I still don't like those parties, though I did get to see bikini clad boobs. So...that was nice.

Off to work out again.

So this is more of a general request, aimed mostly at Pete because he knows way more about this than I do:

Can you turn a normal dog into a data dog? Like brain implants and stuff? Or does it have to be genetically modified at conception and shit like that? I'm tired of losing shoes and powerchords to the hellion that is Zwei. I loveI can deal with having a dog around, but it pesters the snake and chews on things and I'm just not cool with needing to buy myself new boots every week.

I'll see you all on Sunday.

If I wake up to hear Toki screaming again, I think I'm going to snap.

Seriously, who objects to waking up with a pretty girl molesting them?

First of all, where did he find a blue leisure suit that small, and secondly, how the hell did he fit that doll-thing inside the Desert Eagle barrel? I almost killed the guard that was setting up my targets.

Maybe he's more inventive than I thought.

I'm back, sorta, for those of you who may have noticed. I'm doing rounds of Mordhaus if you need me.

Gah!

I think my head exploded, but I can't tell because I still have some of the scotch I was planning on sharing with Jet when he gets back but fuck if I didn't need it this weekend.

Mordhaus, thanks to...well, me, was safe and sound when they got back. While I understand the need to keep Morland a fortress so that they can run back here when shit like Dethwater goes down, but hell did I want to be there killing for them. When the fuck did that happen?

I've checked on Toki like ten times since they got back. WTF is wrong with me?

I need to go patch myself up. And sit in the bossman's office and stare at him for a few hours. That guy has been nothing but good to me and I wasn't there to watch his back. Irks me like nobody's business.

Alright. End spazz attack.

Shit...Julia's got a ding. Dammit, I don't know anybody that can fix her fast.

Pillow war: fun. Annual...semi-annual...monthly tradition is required.

Yes. I cheated. Is it really that much of a shocker? Ex-syndicate killer, turned bounty hunter, turned homeless bum, turned head of security at a crack-fueled crazy house. Should not have been a surprise, people.

That Jin guy's better at that sort of shit than he looks like he'd be. I still say Jet and I coulda taken everybody by ourselves...As long as Ed managed to infiltrate the other team and hold them back play spy for us.

By the way...I don't like getting netted. But it was good to get back at the little fuck that puked in the ship. Note to self: check up with bank on Ed's trust fund thing.

I'm gettin' a little tired of waiting for Jet to show up, to be honest. I know he's busy wrapping shit up and getting his stuff together, but...c'mon. It's been long enough, and he was the one that said he wanted to talk about...us. Or whatever.

I'm having fun teaching Toki how to shoot. He's better at it off the bat than most people are, which is nice. I haven't taught anyone how to shoot since Julia, and...well, it's nice.

Back to work for me. This place is still full of holes, but I'm slowly patching up what's left. I'm starting to get the feeling that there's a syndicate-like organization trying to off the band. Church's involved, unless I'm mistaken...

...seriously, what the hell? Why does everyone want the band dead?

...right.

Nevermind. Total misunderstanding. Crazy hats always confuse me.

I think Zwei just chewed through my power chord. Shit.

Dinner later with Reagan. Sushi in Tokyo...sweet. Unless the wife doesn't untie the apron strings. I like the lady, but Jesus, is she scary when she's pissed.

I now have the Star of India. Thank God I got to Hank before Brock. Any takers, or it's going to Ed's trustfund.

Hey. Not that people were seriously worried, but I am, in fact, still alive. Went for a bit of a...oh fuck, whatdaya call those things...vision quests? Yeah, that's what the old guy used to send me on when I'd really fucked myself over. So I went on one, and I think I sorted a buncha shit out in my brain. Whiskey was involved. It was fun.

For anyone who's been molested by the guards lately, I'm sorry. I'm working on it, I swear. Rearranging them so that they're where they belong is a hell of a lot harder than it looks, believe me.

Also, saw Jet. It was awkward. But part of me still wishes he was here backin' me up (OOC: If you guys know anyone that can play Jet, please, PLEASE send them my way. My friend who promised he'd help me out bailed on me (he has since been killed) and playing Spike alone still feels like he's missing a limb. I don't beg often, but please, people throw me a bone here?)

That's it for now. I'm gonna go cook. If the band really needs to eat, and they have ironclad stomachs, I can cook for a while, but it's not going to end well, I think. Most people don't like cigarette ashes in their omlettes.

Parties suck about as much as partners. Holiday parties are worse. I hate mistletoe. I'm going to avoid people for a while, just train the damn guards and keep tabs on everyone.

I hate kissing random people. And the Swede should avoid me for a few days. Guh.

That bald guy I know keeps leaving messages for me. What the fuck am I supposed to do about this? Sit and drink, is my plan.

Maybe if I just stop getting into pants and having my pants gotten into, it will be less complicated.

Time to sleep. I gotta wake up at noon for training.

Long week. I need to shoot something. Or strangle it. Or both.

I need to get busy with this whole training the guards thing. Wolfwood hasn't been seen for days, I guess it's on me. Note to self: consider buying bull whip. It seems like that'd work on those fuckers.

Christmas party: might be late. Don't know what I'm doing about this Secret Santa shit.

I need some sleepy. I haven't slept since I got kicked in the balls.

I hate prairie oysters. Hate.

Also. Remind me to leave the old communicator in the Swordfish. Somebody, please?

Second note to self: buy mice for snake. And name snake.

I hear there's a new security guy coming in. Mugen, if I'm right, and he's the one I might actually get a solid fight out of. So hopefully that'll help.

Shit. One of those big fucking wolf things just ate a guard. Great.

You know what sucks? Partners suck. All the time. Like big fat assholes they suck. I'm gonna go drink and pass out. I'm feeling all fuckin' used up. I got fuckin' kicked in the balls! Fuckin' parties.

Oh, and guess who called. Yeah, balding, beard. That certainly didn't help my mood. Not that I don't just wanna cry on him right now

Fuckin' partners...sooo not fuckin' worth it.

I won the drinking contest.

But I think it's safe to say that Lupin had just as much fun as I did with it.

Also, met this guy Pete. Pretty chill. Albino, which I'd never seen up close before.

I'm tired. I think I need a nap.

Hey...guess who's got a job. How awesome is that?

I'm not sure how well I'll do at this "stable environment" thing, but judging by the company these Dethklok guys keep, I shouldn't worry about that so much.

Now that Lupin's got Fujiko back, though, not sure who I'm gonna drink with. Any takers?

Note to self: convince Jigen to finally have target practice with new guns Manager got me.

Other note to self: convince Mugen to be new sparring partner. Need to get back into shape.

Now to go make a system to scare a few thousand hooded guards into doing what I want them to do.

Oh, and anybody seen Wolfwood? I need to find him...

Damn. Busy all of a sudden like.

My cough is mostly gone, which means I can smoke again. Thank god. But now my nose is running like a faucet. And I haven't eaten in two days. And I'm slated for a drinking contest with Lupin. I don't think this is going to end well for our hero.

I need a job again. I have no money, and nothing to do with myself. Now, while I would've loved that when I could actually still eat on a regular basis, it's kinda sucking right now. Because soon I won't be able to swipe or charm liquor into my hands, and I'm running out of smokes.

Any ideas, people? I can shoot well, I'm good on my feet, and I can pick pockets. Not to mention the roguishly handsome thing.

Gah! I hate not having anything to do!

You know what really sucks? Being sick. Because it hurts to smoke. And I don't even get a cigarette buzz, because my lungs are so closed off. And at that point, I think I'd rather just not get out of bed, if I can't drink, and I can't smoke, what's the point?

Well, the story would be a little different if I had a pretty ass to fuck, but hell, that wouldn't involve getting out of bed, right? Right. And, being sick, I could make them do all the work.

Being sick puts me in a bastard mood. I think I'll just go work on the Swordfish, or at least pretend to, and go to bed. Unless I hack up a lung into the engine. That'd be funny. Ol' girl finally bites me in the ass and I die. Huh. Kinda poetic, I guess.

Oh, and I picked the little fox thingies because they look like the dog. Stupid dog.